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China Finding LOVE by Chun Duan When I was little, my father lived and worked in a city 350 kilometers (217 miles) from us and only came home twice a year. I was the middle child and o en overlooked by my busy working mother. Because of this, I felt lonely and unloved, and I developed deep feelings I felt lonely of jealousy toward my siblings. and unloved. I believed they received more attention and care from my mom than I did. To win my mother's love, I tried my best to obey her and have good school reports. I had learned that love was conditional; I had to earn it by doing something. from some high bars at a playground after school. I lost consciousness for a few minutes and got up with a bad, persistent headache. I dared not tell my mom or she would scold me. So, I decided to say I was tired and went to bed early, hoping sleep would help me overcome the pain. In the morning, I was totally unconscious and frequently throwing up. ey took me to a clinic, and, though still unconscious, I saw my mom crying over me and questioning my friends about my activities the day before. I realized that my mom did love me, and she was afraid of losing me. How happy I was! A er I recovered, my sister told me that Mom did cry beside my bed, but there was no way for me to see her crying, as I was unconscious. I was sure that my spirit came out of my body and I saw my mom crying. A er that, life continued as normal. I was a good student and did well in exams to please my parents. I made it to university in 1988, where I met my husband, John. Still, I had many other unanswered questions from a very young age. I wanted to know why I was here, why I wasn't somebody else, why I was born into this particular family and what was in my body that made me who I am. Despite growing up in Mainland China and being taught there was no God, and evolution and materialism were true, I felt there was more to life than that. I wanted real answers. After I completed an undergraduate program, my parents encouraged me to go for a master's degree, as they were both teachers and placed a high value on education. I agreed and began doing research at a university in Hong Kong; meanwhile, John went to America where he had been accepted at the University of Maryland. During that time, I began to question the theory of evolution. All my research told me we could not even create a new live germ, despite all the pioneering and design technologies we possessed. There's a saying, “Be careful what you ask for.” When I was nine years old, I fell head down I was convinced that this wonderful world did not come about by chance—but rather, required 14 BIMI WORLD Number 1, 2013